she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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