Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
