ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
