After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
