Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize