Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
