"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
