It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
