I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
