Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
