i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize