okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
