OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
