Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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