That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
