I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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