every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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