Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
