He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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