I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
