i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
