They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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