So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
