I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
