As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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