I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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