can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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