i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
