have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
