somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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