I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
