im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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