Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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