How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
