haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
