Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
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You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
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Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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