am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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