I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize