I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
