no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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