You can't special order awesome
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
