I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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