im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
