Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
