Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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