none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Pants are for mortals
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
