I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
