dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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