Whod you bang
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Fuck appropriateness.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
