so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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