You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
