im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Randomize