Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize