She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
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We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
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Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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