Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
