I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
