Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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