Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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