Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
