giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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