this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
