fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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