maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
