We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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