The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
