Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
