I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize