did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
