dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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